The Letters

Things We've Normalized: Common Is Not the Same as Normal

By Seçil Sayhan, MSc Clinical Health Psychology & Wellbeing2 min readAugust 3, 2026

What’s in this article

  1. The pattern
  2. The mechanism behind it
  3. What to do with it
  4. The bigger picture
  5. Frequently asked questions

a friend told me she hadn't eaten a meal sitting down since tuesday. she said it the way you'd mention the weather.

The pattern

a friend told me she hadn't eaten a meal sitting down since tuesday. she said it the way you'd mention the weather.

that tone is the part that stays with me. we stopped hearing these as problems because everyone around us reports the same ones, and a symptom shared by everybody starts to sound like a personality.

normal is what a human was built to survive. common is just what we stopped questioning. they've been drifting apart for about thirty years and nobody announced it.

comment AUDIT and i'll send you the free life audit — twelve questions, about six minutes, and it names which of these you've quietly accepted.

The mechanism behind it

Someone told me recently that she hadn't eaten a meal sitting down since Tuesday. She said it the way you'd mention the weather.

The tone is the part that stays with me. We've stopped hearing these as problems, because everyone around us reports the same ones — and a symptom shared by everybody starts to sound like a personality.

Answering email at a red light. Calling a 6am alarm discipline when it's debt. Meals designed by a machine and made by a machine. A body that only gets attention when it breaks. Exhaustion worn like a trophy.

Normal is what a human was built to survive. Common is just what we stopped questioning. Those two have been drifting apart for about thirty years, and nobody announced it.

What to do with it

that tone is the part that stays with me. we stopped hearing these as problems because everyone around us reports the same ones, and a symptom shared by everybody starts to sound like a personality.

normal is what a human was built to survive. common is just what we stopped questioning. they've been drifting apart for about thirty years and nobody announced it.

comment AUDIT and i'll send you the free life audit — twelve questions, about six minutes, and it names which of these you've quietly accepted.

The bigger picture

she told me she hadn't eaten a meal sitting down since tuesday, in the tone you'd use for the weather. that tone is the whole problem.

common is not the same as normal.
Run the numbers on your own week.

The Life Audit is free and comes back written: where your hours actually go, and what handing the repeatable half over would change.

Get the free Life Audit →

Frequently asked questions

What is the main idea of "Things We've Normalized: Common Is Not the Same as Normal"?

Normal is what a human was built to survive. Common is only what we stopped questioning. Seven of them, and the flat tone we use to report them.

she told me she hadn't eaten a meal sitting down since tuesday, in the tone you'd use for the weather. that tone is the whole problem?

common is not the same as normal.

How do you actually apply this?

Start with the Life Audit at marsa.ai/life-audit — free, and it turns this piece into a concrete first step.

Is this about willpower or systems?

Systems. Willpower is finite and unreliable; the durable lever is changing the system, the environment, and the defaults underneath the behavior.

Who is this for?

Founders, operators, and anyone trying to perform and live well in the AI age — the science applies whether it moves a person, a market, or a machine.

Where can I go deeper?

Start with the free protocols at marsa.ai. Every claim here draws on the clinical literature — see the full bibliography at marsa.ai/research.

About the author

Seçil Sayhan is the founder of MARSA. She spent a decade on one question: what makes a person thrive, instead of just keeping going. Her research tested the obvious answers — nutrition, supplements, physical health — and none of them predicted it; what predicted it was how someone read their own life. Then she built a company of her own and met the same problem from the inside, which is why MARSA has two halves: machines that take the work which repeats, and the training for the person those hours come back to. BA Business Management · MSc Clinical Health Psychology and Wellbeing · Diploma in Neuroplasticity · Lifestyle Medicine, Harvard University. Every method traces to a public bibliography of 190+ peer-reviewed sources: see the research.